ankos khonaha baby sitring service

i found this at www.saiyinislandcom

Fan Fiction: Anko's Konoha Babysitting Service

Author: irukapooka

Chapter 1: The Perfect Job

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. But I do own the plot.

Prologue

Anko was walking down the busy streets of Konoha. She sighed. She needed more money. She had spent it all on ramen the night before. But, how could she do it? First of all, she needed a job that paid more than her current one. But, which one would be the perfect job?

A store caught her eye. A baby outlet.

“THAT’S IT!!!” Anko yelled triumphantly. A few people were startled and shooed their children away. “I’LL DO THE FIRST EVER KONOHA BABYSITTING SERVICE!!!”

Anko ran home and began to make advertising posters. After that, she set them up all over the village so everyone could see.

As she stapled the last of her posters onto yet another telephone pole, she stepped back and admired her work. This was going to be easy. Babysitting a few kids for a few hours. How hard could that be?

Chapter 1

“RI NG!!!”

Anko woke with a start. She had been sitting in her armchair, right next to the telephone, all day, waiting for someone to call.

She grabbed the phone excitedly and put it to her ear. “Hello? This is Anko’s Konoha Babysitting Service. How may I help you?” she asked happily. Who would be her first client? A little baby boy? A little baby girl? A toddler, perhaps?

“Boss, I got lost trying to deliver the pizzas again.”

A lost pizza boy? “Do I care if you’re lost while you’re delivering pizzas? This is Anko’s Konoha Babysitting Service. Not a pizza parlor!”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“Really sure?”

“Yes.”

“Really, really...”

“CLICK!!!” said the phone as Anko hung up. She sighed and sunk low into her armchair. What if nobody called her?

“RING!!!”

Anko smiled. This was gonna be it! She just knew it! “Hello? This is Anko’s Konoha Babysitting Service. How may I help you?”

“BOSS!!!” yelled a panicked voice. Anko leaned in closer. There seemed to screaming in the background. “THE LOBSTERS AND FISH FORMED A MOB AND ARE ABOUT TO SET OUT TO DESTROY KONOHA AND THE REST OF THE NINJA COUNTRIES!!! HELP!!!”

“CLICK!!!” Maybe she wasn’t meant to be a babysitter after all.

“RING!!!”

Anko gritted her teeth. “WHAT?!!! THIS IS ANKO’S KONOHA BABYSITTING SERVICE!!! NOT SOME STUPID PIZZA PARLOR OR A STUPID FISH MART!!!” she yelled into the receiver.

“Fine. Be that way. I was only gonna ask you to baby-sit...” the person on the other line hung up.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Anko yelled. She quickly dived at the caller ID to see who called. She picked up the phone and dialed the phone number. “Hi!” she said in an over happy voice. “This is Anko! How may I help you?”

“We’re running out of pork and beans,” replied the voice on the other line.

“Eh?” Anko asked, confused.

“Kankurou!” a voice yelled in the background. “Gimme the phone!”

“Geez... stupid sisters...” the voice trailed off.

Seconds later, a new voice appears. “Hello?” it was the voice of the person who had called only moments before.

“Hi! This is Anko! How may I help you?”

“Well, I wanted to know if you wanted to baby-sit my baby brother. But, if you’re not up to it...”

“I am! I am!” Anko said ecstatically. “Just drop him off at my house when you’re ready!”

“Fine,” the person hung up.

Anko smiled. This was gonna be great!

“NO!!! I AM TWELEVE YEARS OLD!!! I DO NOT NEED A BABYSITTER!!! I’M SERIOUS!!! ONCE I GET HOME I’M GONNA KILL YOU BOTH!!!” Gaara yelled at the top of his lungs. His brother and sister (a.k.a. Kankurou and Temari) had tied him up. They each grabbed an end of the rope and slung it over their shoulders, dragging Gaara, who was sitting up. They were on their journey to find the babysitter’s house.

Temari smiled. “No you won’t”

“WHY WON’T I?!!!” Gaara sneered.

“Cuz we’re your siblings,” Kankorou replied.

“THAT DOESN’T MATTER!!!”

“Whatever,” Kankurou said. He looked at Temari. “Are you sure it’s a good idea to go to the Caribbean and leave Gaara alone with someone we hardly even know?”

“WHAT?!!! YOU GUYS ARE GOIN’ TO THE CARIBBEAN!!! WHAT ABOUT ME?!!! I WANNA GO!!!”

Temari shook her head. “No. You know how obsessed you are with sand. We don’t want to you kill off everyone on the beach.”

“I HATE YOU!!!”

“I love you too.”

“Finally! We’re here! Geez... Gaara. You’re getting a little heavy,” Kankurou commented.

Gaara gave him a death glare. “ONCE I’M UNTIED, I’M GONNA RIP YOU LIMB FROM LIMB!!!”

His brother and sister ignored him. Temari rung the doorbell. A purple haired Jounin opened the door. “Hello! Uh...” Anko looked from side to side. “Where’s the baby boy I’m supposed to baby-sit?”

“YOU TOLD HER I WAS A BABY?!!!!!!!!”

He was ignored. “Hey! You’re those sand nin at the Chunnin Exam!” Anko exclaimed as she spotted their hitai-ate. She prepared to do a jutsu.

“You want money or not?” Temari asked flatly.

Anko dropped her hands and plastered a smile on her face. “Please, right this way,” she said as she side-stepped to let them in.

Temari, Kankurou, and Gaara peered in. The house was filled with ramen containers. You could barely make out the floor. Gaara cringed. He did NOT like ramen.

Temari shook her head. “No thanks. We just came to drop him off. Kankurou and I are gonna be late for the plane if we don’t hurry up,” she bent down and pinched Gaara’s cheek. “Be a good boy. I love you.” Then, she and Kankurou skipped off into the sunset, even though it was mid afternoon.

“I HATE YOU PEOPLE!!!” Gaara yelled after them.

Anko scratched the back of her head. “What do I do now?”

Gaara’s head snapped around to face her. “UNTIE ME!!!”

Anko smiled. “Now now. This won’t do. Rudeness is not the key. Come along,” she grabbed an end of Gaara’s rope and dragged him inside her house. She stooped down to look into his petite green eyes. “What do you wanna do now? Play with a puzzle? Make a macaroni necklace?” she suggested.

“UNTIE ME!!!”

Anko clapped her hands together. “Oh I know!” She skipped into her living room. A few seconds later she was shoving items into his face. “Do you like these? I picked them out, just for you!”

“DO I LOOK LIKE A FREAKIN BABY TO YOU?!!!!!!” Gaara bellowed at Anko.

She looked down at the piles and piles of baby clothes and toys. She took out her life’s savings to pay for these clothes and toys. And all of the things that she had purchased were non-refundable (no money back...guaranteed!). Then she got an idea. A horrible, awful idea. She smiled evilly at Gaara. “Do you like the ones with duckies or piggies?”

“NONE!!! NOW, I DEMAND YOU UNTIE ME THIS INSTANT!!!”

“Piggies it is!”

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!”

“MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!”

Within seconds, Gaara was untied and dressed in a baby’s outfit (cuz how can anyone get dressed while tied up? Even if it was forced), covered in piggies. In other cases, Gaara would’ve killed her in an instant. Unfortunately, she was as fast as Lee when it comes to putting on baby’s clothes, his sand could not keep up with him. He was turning blue with loss of oxygen (the baby’s clothes were a little bit small.).

Anko stood up and looked him over. “Awww! So cute! Hugs!” she dived on the poor thing and began to squeeze him to death. Gaara didn’t even have a chance to get his sand barrier up. He was trying to focus on taking small, gasping breaths.

While Gaara was being hugged to death and dressed up in piggies, Team 7 was having their own problems. They were on the training grounds discussing about something important.

"Well, I promised Jiraiya-sama I'd practice with him. So I can't do it," Naruto said.

Sakura sighed. "I can't do it cuz I'm gonna go eat ramen with Lee." Naruto snorted.

"SAKURA-CHAN'S GOIN' OUT WITH FUZZY EYEBROWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Sakura threw a rock at his head. "How many times do I have to tell you to not make fun of him!"

Naruto rubbed his head. "Owie..." He looked up and spotted Sasuke leaning against a tree. "Oi! Sasuke! We haven't heard from you yet!"

Sasuke looked at an anxious Sakura and Naruto lazily as he folded his arms. "Don't look at me. I'm not going to waste my time being with him. I have my own life too, you know."

"But- Sasuke-kun!" Sakura whined.

"HEY GUYS!!!!!!!! COME LOOK AT THIS!!!!!!!!!!" Naruto yelled, a few feet away from them.

Sakura and Sasuke ran over to the blonde ninja. "What?" they asked.

Naruto picked up a neon green flyer from off the ground. "'Anko's Konoha Babysitting Service?'" he looked up at the other two. "Her?! Attending children? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of."

Sakura bopped Naruto on the head. "Don't you get it? She can do the babysitting for us!"

Naruto rubbed the spot on his cheek, where Anko's kunai met him. "But, she's gonna slaughter him! Don't you think she's even a tinsy bit dangerous?"

Sasuke shook his head. "I don't care. Let's hurry it up and drop him off at her house. I have better things to do."

Sakura looked worried. "But, we don't have money!"

"HE has money," Sasuke said simply.

"Oh," came from Sakura's and Naruto's mouths.

################

"Here comes the airplane! Open wide Gaara-kun!"

Gaara groaned. What had he done to deserve this? He was sitting in a high chair, with a bib, and had a lunatic that called herself a Jounin feeding him ramen. How he HATED ramen! And it had only been five minutes since his brother and sister dropped him off. How long was he going to have to stay here? How much more pain can a ninja like him endure? He clamped his mouth tight shut.

Anko smiled. "Come on, Gaara-kun! Be a good boy!"

Gaara shook his head frantically 'no'.

Anko's smile grew wider. All of a sudden, she pointed to the front door. "Oh my! Are your siblings here already?"

Gaara's eyes turned to the door. "Wha..." Anko shoved a great BIG HUMONGO fork full of ramen into his poor unprotected mouth. He tried to spit it out, but it clung to his mouth. He quickly swallowed it.

Boy, was this woman going to pay.

In the back room, Anko's phone rang. She skipped out of the room to get it. "Welcome to Anko's Konoha Babysitting Service! Anko speaking. How may I help you?"

"I need you to babysit someone, DUH" came a certain blonde haired ninja's voice on the other end of the line. "What else do you think I'm calling for?"

Anko started to bounce up and down excitedly. "Is it a baby?"

Naruto paused. "Uh... you could say that." "YAY!!!! Bring him over right away!" "Sure."



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Chapter 4: Evil Blood Sucking Oro Monkeies

Kakashi was sitting in his living room guarding his mother's oldest and most proud vase. Kakashi found it to be the ugliest thing on the planet. But he didn't dare tell his mother that. She got scary when his opinion wasn't the one she wanted to hear.

He sighed. His mother was on vacation somewhere. It was the first time in his 26 year old life that he had been left alone. He always had to be with someone. His students during training, his mother living in HIS house. He didn't know why, but nobody seemed to trust him. Poor, poor Kakashi.

Then, he heard it. Footsteps. Footsteps coming to his door. His face paled. THE EVIL BLOOD SUCKING OROCHIMARU MONKEYS WERE COMING TO TAKE HIM AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Using his ninja like reflexes he grabbed his mother's vase and held it close. No way was he going to sit in the corner again.

He inched slowly towards the door and opened it. He gasped. IT WAS A PINK EVIL BLOOD SUCKING OROCHIMARU MONKEY!!!!!!!!!

Without thinking, he chucked the vase at the creature's head. It immediately knocked it out. Kakashi stepped toward the vase. It was broken in two. Kakashi groaned. Would his mother believe him that he was only trying to protect the house from an evil pink blood sucking Orochimaru monkey?

Oh, well. He thought. He chucked the vase over his shoulder. He hated the thing anyway.

He got up and walked back into the house, proud that he had defeated the evil pink thing.

#############

Sasuke was dressed up as a chipmunk up in one of Kakashi's trees. He held his walkie talkie close to his mouth. "Naruto, what happened down there?" he had heard a loud KONK and then silence.

"SASUKE!!!!!!!!! YOU BAKA!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE DAISES!!!!!!!!!" Naruto yelled. He was crouched, hidden somewhere in Kakashi's flower garden of daises. He was the one chosen to watch over that area which meant he had to dress up as a daisy.

"Naruto!" Sasuke hissed. "We need to carry out the mission for Mrs. Hatake!"

"WHY?????!!!!!!!!"

Sasuke sighed. "Because, dobe, she told us to watch out for Kakashi and make sure he doesn't hurt himself."

"BUT..."

"We're getting paid for it so shut up and tell me what happened."

Naruto sighed. "Uh, Sakura-chan's on the ground."

"Is she breathing?"

"Uh, yeah. Hmmm... I wonder if we can get her share of money if Mrs. Hatake comes and finds out Sakura-chan's sleeping on the job?"

"Shoot. Oh well. Wake her up." Darn. He was also hoping to get more money and take Sakura's share..

Naruto rushed over and picked a stick up from off the ground. He poked her with it. "SAKURA-CHAN!!!!!! WAKE UP!!!!!!"

She smacked Naruto in surprise. "HE TRIED TO KIL ME!!!!!!!!! DID YOU SEE THAT???????!!!!!!!! HE TRIED TO KILL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she got up and ran to the ramen bar to meet with Lee.

Sasuke glared after her. "Great. She's left us to try and convince him to come with us now".

###############
Anko looked into Gaara's eyes. "I'm going to go out to but us more ramen. You were such a hungry boy!" she exclaimed as she patted him on the head.

"I'm...gonna...kill...you..." he groaned. He had way to much to eat.

Anko smiled and picked him up from his highchair and set him down on the floor. "Now stay here, Gaara-kun." She opened the door. "It'll only be for a few minutes. And don't even try to escape. I got prime security on all the doors and windows. Bye-bye!"

#############

Rock Lee stared down at the ground. "Sakura-san's late. Maybe I shouldn't have asked her to come eat ramen with me." He looked around at the empty ramen bar. Still no Sakura.

He looked down at his uneaten ramen. He wasn't really hungry anymore. He paid his money and began to eat his ramen in silence.

"I'd like two ramen to go please," a voice next to him said.

He looked up and saw the purple haired Jounin that attended the Chuunin exam. She looked down at him and smiled. "Hello! How are you today?"

Lee didn't answer. He continued to eat. Anko noticed some depression in the boy. "Wanna come to my place? There's gonna be a party at my house. Would you like to come?"

Lee hesitated. What if Sakura came here and didn't find him? But, she was an hour late. What if she had gone to this lady's party? He nodded.

Anko paid for the ramen and paid the cook (Temari had paid her before she left). "Let's go! People are waiting!"

Too bad Lee didn't know what he was getting himself into.

#################

"Okay Naruto. If we can't get Kakashi out ourselves, we have to force him out," Sasuke said with his squirrel costume still on. "Now, I have thought up a plan. See that plant up there?" Sasuke pointed to one of Kakashi's windows. A dead plant in a pot was standing on the sill.

"A PLANT????!!!!!!" Naruto yelled. "That's your brilliant plan?"

Sasuke grinned. "Not just any plant. Mr. Ukki."

Gaara was trying to find his way out of this mental house. Anko was right. When he tried to knock down the doors and windows with his sand, it wouldn't budge. He had tried everything he could think of.

He first tried yelling his lungs out, but he soon gave up because he was losing his voice (since he had been doing that a few hours earlier). He tried to make a call to Tsunade, the current Hokage:

"Hello? Tsunade, the fifth and cutest Hokage speaking."

"HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Gaara yelled (hey, he still had enough voice volume to do that).

"What seems to be the problem?" she asked calmly.

"THIS PSYCHO MENTAL JOUNIN WOMAN IS BABYSITTING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"And the problem is?"

"SHE'S A LUNATIC, I TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! A MENTAL CASE!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE KEEPS ON TREATING ME AS IF I'M A BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE'S EVEN DRESSED ME IN BABY CLOTHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Really?" she asked excitedly. "Is it piggies or duckies? I hope you're wearing piggies! They're so kawaii!"

Gaara quickly hung up the phone. Okay. That was disturbing. He thought to himself.

He had run out of ideas. Now, there was only one last thing he could count on. He walked over to the kitchen and opened the fried. He grinned evilly to himself as he found what he was looking for. He pulled out the almighty... JAR OF PICKLES!!!!!!!!!

He giggled giddily. He rushed over to the LARGE lock on the doorknob on a door. He lifted the jar above his head. "DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he yelled as he began to pound the lock with the pickle jar. "MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!"

Of course, after a few hits, the jar cracked and pickles spilled all over. He stared at the jar in his hand. "Poo..." he looked down and picked up a pickle. His eyes turned into horseshoes. "YAY! PICKLES!" he yelled as he took a large bite.

########################

Anko walked though her door, to find Gaara sprawled out on her floor, stuffed with pickles. Lee followed her. He raised one of his eyebrows. Anko ignored Lee's expression and picked Gaara up in her arms(she had to put the ramen out on the table first).

Gaara opened an eye. "Ugh... get away..."

Anko smiled. "Now, now Gaara-kun. You have been eating too much. Poor gaarie warie needs a nappie wappie," she baby talked. She dropped him onto her couch and left him all alone.

Anko turned to Lee. "Come into the kitchen. We need to talk."

Lee nodded, still all too amazed of Gaara. This didn't look like much of a party to him. They three were the only people here. He quickly sat himself at Anko's table, which was currently groaning under the weight of ramen boxes and containers.

Anko also took a seat. She placed her head in her hands. "So, Lee, right?"

Lee nodded. "Yes ma'am." She was a Jounin that had been in charge of an event at the Chuunin exam. He had to give her the proper respect.

"Lee, are your parents at home? Do you need a babysitter?" her eyes glistened.

"Actually, they're in Antartica."

"Really?"

"Yeah. But I'm old enough not to have a babysitter, don't you think?"

Anko smiled that insane smile of hers again. "Lee, Lee, Lee. You are so naïve. What would your sensei say if he knew you were unsurpervised?"

"Gai-sensei would be disappointed to know that," Lee admitted.

Anko clapped her hands. "YAY! ANOTHER NEW BABY TO BABYSIT!!!!"

Lee grew disturbed.

Anko leaned across the table to stare into his eyes. "You have sexy eyebrows."

Lee scooted his chair away from her. Oro?

Anko stood up and walked over to Lee slowly. "Lee-kun..."

"I, uh, have to be going now..." Lee said as he tried to get out of his seat. But, for some reason, he couldn't budge. He looked down and saw manacles on his wrists and ankles, attached to the chair. "What the...?"

Anko smiled evilly. "Lee-kun..." she whipped out an eyebrow plucker and a tube of super glue. "You have sexy eyebrows."

Lee screamed.

#########################

"All right, Naruto. Grab the plant. Carefully now. Carefully," Sasuke instructed. "It may be a trap for all we know."

"Bah! I betcha he won't even know it's gone! Like this is really gonna be a trap!" Naruto said loudly. He reached out for the unprotected plant. One finger touched it. Now two. Three. Four. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! I told you, Sasuke! This wasn't a trap! Look who's wrong now! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" he yelled as he and Sasuke were tossed up into the sky, flinging them back into the busy streets of Konoha

Kakashi stepped out of his door and smiled. "Stupid evil pink blood sucking Orochimaru monkeys. They thought they could steal Mr. Ukki but I've shown them once again!"

#########################

"Big brother Naruto! Don't die!" Konohamaru yelled as he began to punch Naruto's chest. "Breathe! Breathe!"

Naruto's eyes opened wide and he sputtered. "Get off!"

"Yay! Big brother Naruto is alive!" yelled Konohamaru and his two comrades.

At that moment, Sasuke also woke up. He sat up and glared at Naruto. "You are the worst."

"Hey, hey, hey! I've got a plan!" Naruto said, even though he didn't.

"Oh really?" Sasuke smirked. "What is it?"

Naruto looked around, trying to search for an answer. "Uh..." then his eyes landed on the three children. He smiled (A/N: Boy, people do smile a lot in this fanfic). "Say, Konohamaru?"

"Yes, big brother?"

"Let's play a little game..."

Chapter 6: Donations to the Hairless

Gaara awoke to crying in the background. He shook his head and sat up. Who was that crying? Then he remembered. Anko brought home another 'baby.' It was that Lee kid.

"Yay! Gaara-kun is up!" he heard 'her' voice yell. A second later, he was in a death grip hug. "Gaara-kun! I have a surprise for you!"

"You're gonna die in a swirling pit of fire with little munchkins doing the Macarena in the background?" he asked hopefully.

"Nope!" Anko swiftly pulled out a hand mirror. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!"

Gaara's jaw dropped and he too, was soon screaming.

########################

Somebody was knocking on Kakashi's door. Kakashi grabbed a baseball bat and neared it. "Who is it?"

"Konoha girl scouts!"

"And boy scouts!"

Kakashi jumped up and down in excitement and he dropped his only means of protection (a.k.a. his baseball bat). "YAY!!! Are you children gonna sell me cookies?" he asked excitedly as he opened up his door. Three children stood staring up at him. A girl and two boys. Each one of them had a black backpack on.

The boy without glasses smiled and took off his backpack. "Actually, are you Kakashi?"

"Yes! Do I get cookies now?"

Konohamaru smiled. He nodded to his other two comrades. They nodded back. They each reached into their backpacks and pulled out...

##########################

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Does Gaara-kun like his present?"

"GET THEM OFF OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Anko gave him, yet another hug. "Yay! I knew Gaara-kun would like his present!"

Gaara looked back into the mirror again, not believing what she had done to him. Those eyebrows. Those eyebrows that Lee kid on his head, were now super glued onto him!

"I noticed that you didn't have any eyebrows, so I picked Lee-kun up on the way home and shaved off half his eyebrows to give to you! Aren't they pretty?" Anko said very fast.

Gaara glared at her. "NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!THEY ARE NOT PRETTY!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET THEM OFF OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Anko picked Gaara up and put him into---"A BABY'S CRIB???????!!!!!!!!!" Gaara yelled.

Anko patted him on the head. "You're getting cranky. Nappy time!"

"But I was just barely sleeping!"

"Now, now, no talking back!" Anko skipped off. Gaara cringed as he heard more screaming. A few seconds later, Anko skipped back, holding Lee, now with only half of his eyebrows and in a pink baby outfit with a bonnet on his head. "Now, play nicely now! Don't worry, I'll bring in more friends for you later. Tootles!" she skipped off.

"SHE-TOOK-MY-EYEBROWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Lee yelled in between gasps.

Gaara took pity on him. "We need to escape."

"But-how?"

"For now, we're just gonna have to wait until it's the opportune moment. We'll need more help if we're gonna defeat her."

Lee nodded. "Right."

#############################

"MACHINE GUNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sasuke yelled, behind Kakashi's fence. "YOU GAVE THOSE KIDS MACHINE GUNS???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Naruto smiled his all too famous fox smile. "It'll work, trust me."

"BUT- THOSE KIDS COULD DESTROY THE WHOLE VILLAGE!!!!!!!!!!"

"Chill. Just wait."

#############################

Konohamaru and co. pointed their machine guns at Kakashi's face. Moegi (she's the girl) pulled out a bag, big enough for a man to fit in. "Just step into here, sir," Konohamaru instructed.

Kakashi gulped. He did exactly as he was told. Udon (the boy with glasses)tied the end with a knot.

"Okay, let's go and hand him over to big brother," Konohamaru said and away they went.

###########################

It was about nine at night when Anko heard the doorbell ring. She jumped off her couch and opened the door. Naruto, Sasuke, Konohamaru and co., and a bag were at her doorstep.

"Is this him?" she asked.

Naruto smiled. "Yep!"

"YAY!!!!!!!!!" she threw the bag into her house. You could hear a loud 'OW!!!!!' in the background. "Do you need a babysitter, children?"

All of the kids shook their heads. Konohamaru stepped forward. "No, ma'am. But, we can get more kids for you if you want."

Anko clapped her hands together. "Isn't that sweet? Sure! Let's see. What should I call you?"

"The Konohamaru Busters!" Naruto said. "Me and Sasuke here are there managers. Give us a job and we'll be happy to do it."

Sasuke smiled. "Especially if you give us money." He held his hand out for her to shake.

Anko took it. "It's a deal," she whipped out a picture from her coat. "And this is who I want you to get."

Naruto nodded. "Roger!"

Chapter 7: Singing and Rose Petals

“My knee’s still shaking,

Like I was twelve,

Sneaking out of the classroom,

By the back door,

A man railed at me twice,

Though I didn’t care,

Waiting is wasting,

For people like MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Orochimaru yelled from his bedroom. “THAT SONG IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU’RE TOTALLY RUINING THE SONG!!!!!!!!!!!”

It was five o’ clock in the morning at Orochimaru’s happy home. Kabuto was rooming with him because Kabuto is Kabuto (yeah, I know. Makes a lot of sense, don’t it?)

Kabuto was taking a shower and signing like a dieing magpie. He frowned. “But I like that song!” he protested.

Orochimaru jumped out of his bed. “Bah! Don’t sing that song.”

Kabuto nodded. “Alright then.”

Orochimaru took in the peaceful silence, but then was interrupted again: “How come I must know,

Where obsession needs me to go,

How come I must knowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww................”

“CLUNK!”

Orochimaru threw a brick (Don’t ask me where he got it. It just appeared randomly.) at Kabuto. “I SAID SHUT UP YOU!!!!!”

Kabuto came out of the shower wearing a hot pink towel. “OWIE!!!!!! OROCHIMARU-SAMA!!!!!!!!!!!”

“STOP WHINING AND GET DRESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Orochimaru yelled as he walked out of his house.

He went to his shed and pulled out his garden supplies. He smiled widely as he took out his needed supplies. He skipped over to his garden, right behind his pink house.

He knelt down besides his little bed of flowers which consisted of only pink flowers. He giggled to himself. He LOVED pink. Pink was happy.

After Orochimaru watered all the plants, he kissed them each on the petals. “Goodbye Betty, Wendy, Sarah, Julie,” and he went on and on.

After this morning ritual, Orochimaru skipped into his house. “Is my drink done yet?” He asked Kabuto.

“It’s in the kitchen,” Kabuto called.

Orochimaru skipped happily into the kitchen and found his smoothie of grass on the table. He chugged it down happily. It was his favorite drink.

Kabuto walked into the kitchen, fully dressed now. “Are you done yet Orochimaru-sama?”

Orochimaru nodded. Kabuto led him over to his own private hair salon. “Sit in the chair, sir,” Kabuto instructed.

Orochimaru sat in his chair of pinkness and put his head into the sink. Kabuto dipped Orochimaru’s hair in water with rose petals. “Your hair is sexy as ever Orochimaru-sama.”

Orochimaru smiled. “I know.”

“Do you think my hair will ever become as sexy as yours?”

“No.”

Kabuto pouted. “But, why?”

“Cuz I said so.”

“No fair.”

The doorbell rang. Kabuto stopped washing Orochimaru’s hair and headed to the front door. Kabuto came back into the hair salon a few minutes later along with some new people: three kids, a blonde ninja, and a raven haired ninja.

Naruto burst up laughing. “YOU-HAHAHAHAHA-WASH YOUR HAIR-HAHAHAHAHAHA-IN ROSE PETALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“AND WE THOUGHT YOU WERE EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Sasuke was rolling on the floor clutching his sides. “THAT’S HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” he laughed through his tears.

Orochimaru jerked his head up, which threw rose petals every where. “I AM EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” he raged. He gave a hateful look to Kabuto. “WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“They, uh...” Kabuto began.

Konohamaru smiled. “Come with us, sir. We’ve heard that you are in need of a babysitter.”

Chapter 8: Cookies and a Lost Teammate

Kakashi stared at his new surroundings with curiosity. He was in a play pen along with a boy with the tattoo ‘love’ on his forehead, and another boy with very thin eyebrows. Kakashi stared at them with wide eyes.

Well, not exactly at Gaara and Lee, but at what they had in their hands: a cookie. You see, Kakashi loved cookies and when Anko had given him his, he ate it right up. He gazed longingly at the chocolate chips and the sugar crystals placed on it. He could see every texture, every detail. He licked his lips behind his mask. He was hungry. VERY hungry.

########################

“I DEMAND YOU GET ME OUT OF THIS BAG THIS INSTANT!!!!!!!!!” Orochimaru yelled. “GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!!!”

Anko opened the bag up. She smiled wide. Orochimaru cowered. Anko squealed. “YAY!!!!!!!!” she gave Orochimaru a tight, TIGHT hug. “YAY!!!!! ANOTHER NEW BABY FOR ANKO MOMMY TO TAKE CARE OF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Orochimaru gave an earpiercing scream as he was dragged inside her house. A few minutes later, Anko reappeared out of her house, locking the door behind her. She hugged Sasuke. “THANK YOU!!!!!!!!! THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!!!!!” she yelled.

“Uh...you’re welcome?” Sasuke said, unsure of the situation.

Anko let go him and whipped out another picture of another ‘baby’.

Naruto and Sasuke cringed. The person in that picture was scary. But, Naruto gulped and nodded. “We will do it. Just as long as you give us the money.”

Anko smiled (again). “Oh yes. You see...the reason why I want him is because...”

All five of the Konohamru Busters cringed when they heard Anko’s statement. But they held their heads high and went off to do their next mission.

##########################

“Hello, Neji-kun!”

Neji groaned as he heard his instructor’s voice. He hated it when Gai pretended that he was best friends with Neji and used the suffix ‘kun’ at the end of his name.

Gai put an arm around Neji. “Isn’t it a beautiful morning, Neji-kun?”

Neji tried to keep his cool down. “I guess...” he said in a little more than a whisper.

Gai stood up and looked around the training ground. “Tenten-chan! Isn’t it a beautiful morning?”

“Yes sensei!” Tenten exclaimed.

“Lee-kun!” Gai yelled as he looked around the training grounds. Lee was nowhere to be found. He looked down at Neji and Tenten. “Where is Lee? He is not one to be late.”

“I dunno,” Tenten said fiddling with her kunai.

Gai looked at Neji eagerly. “Do I look like that I would know?”

Gai smiled evilly as he pinned Neji’s arms to his sides and lifted him up in the air. “ACK!!!!!!! GAI-SENSEI!!!!!!!!!! PUT ME DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“I shall not put you down, Neji-kun!” Gai boomed. “Find Lee-kun with your beautiful eyes of pearl!”

“I WILL NOT!!!!!!!!!” Neji hissed. “AND MY EYES ARE NOT BEAUTIFUL OR PEARL!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW PUT ME DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Do it Neji!” Tenten cheered. “Do it for the sake of the team!”

Neji gritted his teeth. But, he rather do his Byukagan for Tenten then Gai any day. Plus, if he used it and found Lee, Gai would leave him alone. Veins popped out of his head as he used his famous technique. “I can’t find him.”

Gai set Neji down gently and fell to his knees. “WHAT EVIL HAS DONE THIS?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO WOULD TAKE LEE AWAY!!!!!!!!!” he began to sob uncontrollably. Neji and Tenten ran away, leaving Gai all alone. “LEE!!!!!!! COME BACK TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

###########################

Gaara looked at Kakashi. “What?”

Kakashi pounced on Gaara. “MY COOKIE!!!!!!!!!!!”

Gaara bopped Kakashi on the head to get him off him. It worked. Kakashi sat in his little corner in the playpen, sobbing uncontrollably. “I ONLY WANTED A COOKIE!!!!!!!!! WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Anko came up skipping to the playpen to find out what the matter was. “Now, now let’s be kind to one another. Look! A new friend!” she shoved Orochimaru into the playpen. “Be nice!” she skipped off.

Kakashi gazed at Orochmaru with wide eyes. “Friend...” his voice was distant.

Orochimaru gulped.

Chapter 9: A New Lee

Kakashi looked closer into Orochimaru's eyes. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! SCARY FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HIDE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he yelled as he hid behind Lee. "HE'S GONNA EAT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he wailed.

Orochimaru began to cry too. "MY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!! MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR HASN'T BEEN BATHED!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT MUST I DO??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he hugged Lee to comfort him.

Lee looked over uneasily at Gaara. "We won't be able to escape with these guys. We need to find other people to help us. What must we do?"

Gaara's eye twitched as he watched Kakashi and Orochimaru wail. "I guess we'll have to wait. We know that she'll have more people coming. We just have to wait. Hopefully the next person will have at least one brain cell."

Neji was running through the streets scarred for life. Gai had just called his eyes pearl! After he had calmed down, he ran back to the training grounds to find Gai still yelling about where 'his' Lee went.

His sensei could not act like this! He needed a sensei that would train with him, than a sensei that would cry about his student. So he was running through the streets, trying to find someone who could help his sensei stop crying and train him.

"Oof!" he grunted as he slammed into someone. He looked up at Naruto. "Hey! Watch where you're going!"

"Hey! You were the one that slammed into me! I should be the one telling you to watch it!"

Neji jumped up. "No! I should!"

Naruto stuck out his tongue. "No! I should!"

"No! I should!"

"No! I should!"

Ten seconds later...

"Nu-uh! Chickens are blue!"

"You idiot! How many times do I have to tell you? They're purple!" Neji yelled

"BLUE!!!!!!!!!"

"PURPLE!!!!!!!!"

Sasuke was getting frustrated from waiting. "Neji! Where is Gai?"

Neji and Naruto paused to look at Sasuke. "He's in the training grounds crying," Neji blinked. "Why do you want to know?"

Naruto smiled in Neji's face. "By the way Neji, Anko told us you were invited. And so is Tenten. It's tomorrow."

Neji glared at him. "To where? What's tomorrow?"

But the Konohamaru Busters were running towards the training grounds and did not hear Neji.

"You are gonna die Naruto," Sasuke muttered through clenched teeth. "I am so gonna kill you."

Naruto smiled. "Hey, you can't let me take all the credit! It was Konohamaru's idea."

"Yeah, well, you were the one that did it!"

Naruto shoved Sasuke out from the bushes where they were hiding. "Go out there and greet him! Remember, money."

Sasuke bit his lower lip. "Gai-sensei!" he said with complete fake happiness. "I am here!"

Gai looked up. What he saw made him jump with happiness. Lee was standing right in front of him! Of course, this was really Sasuke. Naruto MADE him wear a green suit, mousse his hair a BAJILLION times to make it go down (Naruto had to cut Sasuke's hair in the front, then glued the cut hair onto his forehead to make them look like eyebrows), and Naruto MADE Sasuke put mascara on his eyelashes to make them look really big.

"LEE-KUN!!!!!!!!" within seconds, Sasuke was crushed by an unidentified object. "I HAVE MISSED YOU SO!!!!!!!!"

Sasuke looked hatefully behind him where Naruto and the rest were hiding. Naruto gave him a thumbs up. "Do it," he mouthed.

Sasuke gave him a hug. "GAI-SENSEI!!!!!!!!!!!!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. He made himself choke up tears.

He gritted his teeth as he heard Naruto and co. laughing in the back ground. He broke the embrace and stared at Gai. "Gai-sensei, I need you to meet someone."

Gai puffed out his chest. "And who might that be, my dearest Lee?"

"Follow me."

"Who's house is this Lee-kun?"

"Just wait a sec," Sasuke rung the doorbell. The door slammed open and revealed Anko. YAY!!!!!!!MY LOVE HAS COME BACK TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She dragged him back into the house.

"LEE!!!!!!! SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Gai yelled before the door was slammed shut.

Chapter 10: Helping out Sasuke the Sexy

Sakura was at her home, crying on her bed. "Why wasn't Lee-san there? That really was a cruel prank Lee. I thought you liked me!"

"SAKURA!!!!!!!! STOP MOPING AND GET DOWN HERE NOW!!!!!!!!!" Sakura's mom yelled from downstairs.

Sakura jumped out of bed. She wiped all her tears off her face. "MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She yelled as she ran downstairs.

"I need you to go to the flower shop and get me some flowers," Sakura's mom explained.

Sakura clenched her fists. The only flower shop in town was owned by Ino's family. Why did she have to go down at this particular moment? She could just see Ino laughing in her face when it got out that she was ditched by Lee. She groaned. "Fine," she muttered as she made her way out the door.

Ino was sitting at her flower shop, very bored. Nothing new was happening. Nothing. No invasions. No demons. No assasinations. Yes, her life was a boring one.

At that moment, Lee passed by her flower shop, muttering. "I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna kill him. I can't believe he left me to wander around Konoha..."

"Hey, Lee! What's up?" Ino called.

Lee did a double glance at her. He hesitated, then he finally walked over to her. Hopefully no one would see past his disguise. "Uh, hey. Ino."

"How was your date with Sakura? Did you dump her?" Ino asked, with glitter in her eyes.

Think Sasuke! Think! What would Lee do? "Uh, no."

Ino slouched on the stool she was sitting on. "Poo..." then she sat up. "What'd you guys do?"

"Uh..." he thought for a moment. What would Lee do? "Uh... we made out for ten minutes! Yeah, that's it!"

Ino had a sweatdrop from her head. "Sakura actually went that far with you? Man, she must be desperate..."

Sakura walked up to Ino. "Hey, I need a bouquet of any of the flowers you got."

Ino nodded and turned away as she ran to do the errand.

"Hello, Sakura-san!"

Sakura turned and found herself staring right at Lee! She fumed. "YOU ARE AN UNGRETFUL LITTLE JERK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She yelled. She slapped him.

Sasuke looked up at her, dazed. "Huh?" Then he grabbed her legs. "Sakura! Thank goodness I found you! You need to help me!" Sakura kicked him off. "Sakura! It's me! Sasuke! C'mon! Help me!"

Sakura took a curious whiff of the air around her. It was Sasuke's scent. She began to panic. "Sasuke! Oh, I'm sorry!"

"Shh! Don't say it too loud!"

Ino walked up carrying the bouquet of flowers. "You're Sasuke?" She sniffed him. "YOU ARE SASUKE THE SEXY!!!!!!!!!!!!" She screeched.

"Will you two shut up?! I need help and I need it now!"

The two girls nodded. "We will! We will!"

Ino shoved Sasuke and Sakura (Sasuke made sure that Sakura wouldn't go off and start telling everybody that he looked like Lee) inside her flower shop. They went out the back door and sat down. "What is it Sasuke-kun?" they both asked.

Sasuke burst into tears. "Get this make up off of me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to look sexy again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Sakura and Ino nodded and set to work.

"And so you guys are getting paid for this?" Sakura asked, once Sasuke was Sasuke again and had told them the story.

"Yes."

Ino and Sakura exchanged a quick smile. "Sasuke, do you like cake?"

"Uh........"

The girls pushed him out of the flower shop. "Go find the rest of your 'helpers' and we'll all have cake, okay?" Ino asked. They slammed the door behind him.

"GAI IS SO SEXY,

YES HE IS,

ASK ANYONE,

THEY'LL SAY HE IS,

THAT'S WHY HE'S MINE,

AND NOT YOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Anko sung.

Orochimaru looked at Lee. "Does she do this often?"

"Sadly, yes."

"Hey!" Kakashi whined. "Why does she think he's sexy?! I'm sexy!"

Anko grabbed Gai around the middle and put him in a walker (y'know, the ones they use for babies so they can learn how to walk?). She patted him on the head. "Go and play, Gai the sexy!" She skipped off to do whatever she does.

Gai twiddled (is that even a word?) over to the crib. "Lee-kun! What is this horrible place? I am scared."

But, Anko appeared out of nowhere again. "Oro! Time for your hair to meet...Mr. Pointy!" She whipped out a machete.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" Orochimaru tried to run like the dickens but she grabbed him by his ankles and lifted him out of the crib.

"We need your hair to be sexy for tomorrow!"

"What's tomorrow?" he spat.

Anko grinned. "You will see tomorrow!"

Chapter 11: Phone Calls and Honks

The phone rung inside Tenten's house. Tenten, being the closest, quickly picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Tenten?" asked a voice on the other line.

"Hey, Sakura. What's up?" Tenten asked, recognizing the voice.

"I need you to come to Ino's flower shop."

"Now?"

"ASAP."

"Why?"

"You'll see."

Tenten sighed. "Fine."

And with that, Tenten left her house.

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Hinata! Phone!" Hanabi rushed out of her house and handed the phone to her older sister, who was currently training to become stronger.

Hinata looked at the phone curiously for a moment. Hardly anyone called her. "Thanks..." she mumbled as she took the phone. She put it up to her ear. "Um...hello? This is Hinata."

"Hi, Hinata!" the voice on the other line said loudly.

"Um, hello," Hinata squeaked as she stared at the phone in confusion. "May I ask who's calling?"

"Ino!"

"Oh, hello, Ino-chan."

"Hinata, I need you to come over to my flower shop, right now."

"But-but why?" Hinata stuttered.

"Just hurry," Ino said, getting impatient.

"But, what if Hanabi tells on me?"

"Stand up to her!"

"Okay," Hinata agreed. "See you in a minute."

Hinata tossed the phone lightly to Hanabi as she began to walk off. Hanabi stared after her sister. "Where'd you think you're going?" Hanabi yelled. "Father needs you to practice! He'll be really angry if he finds out you're leaving! I'll tell on you!"

Hinata smiled evilly at her little sister. "You're not going to tell on me."

"Who said?!"

Hinata took out a bag big enough for a small child to fit in. One as small as Hanabi. "ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she yelled as she stuffed Hanabi inside the bag. Hinata tied the end in a knot. Hanabi's cries were muffled. Hinata heaved the bag onto her shoulder and tossed it into some nearby bushes. "Bye!"

DUN DUN DUNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"There you are!" Sasuke yelled as he found Konohamaru. "Where is the rest of the guys?!" Sasuke picked the kid up by the back of his shirt.

"OW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UGLY!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET ME GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Konohamaru yelled. A few people on the streets looked at the pair of them.

"I AM NOT UGLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SEXY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW ANSWER MY QUESTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sasuke yelled back. He glared at the passer-bys. "I'M NOT UGLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO STOP STARING AT ME, GOT IT????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The people gave a quick 'MEEP!' and left. Konohamaru stared at Sasuke with dislike. "You aren't sexy! You're UGLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"ANSWER MY QUESTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Moegi and Udon left to go home to take a nap."

"And Naruto? Where's he?"

"Big brother is at the ramen bar."

"The Ichiaraku!" Sasuke dropped Konohamaru.

Konohamaru landed on his bum with a 'THUMP!' He glared after Sasuke, who was running to the ramen bar. "HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WASN'T NICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I WILL NOT LET YOU CUT MY BEAUTIFUL, SILKY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Orochimaru screeched.

Anko's smile turned into a frown. "Awwww...Why not?"

"Because I said so!"

Anko smiled at Orochimaru. "Then I shall not cut your hair, but make it pretty without Mr. Pointy!"

"Just don't wreck it!"

"Okey-dokey-day!" She dragged Orochimaru into the kitchen to do his hair. "You shall look pretty for tomorrow!"

Gaara looked uncertainly at Lee. "What's this tomorrow she keeps on talking about?"

Lee shook his head as he also shoved Kakashi away, who was still traumatized over 'scary friend'. "I have no idea. But, I'm guessing it is pretty important if she's doing Orochimaru's hair and if Gai-sensei is here."

Gaara side glanced at Gai, who was poking his mighty large nose with his pointer finger. "Um, yeah. It must be really important if your sensei's here," Gaara replied sarcastically.

"Watch this everyone!" Gai said happily.

Kakashi looked up, alert. "What? I wanna see!"

Gai placed his finger on his nose and pressed it. "HONK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he removed his finger.

Kakashi's jaw dropped. "Do it again!"

Gaara sweat dropped. "Somebody take me out of this mental house!" he pleaded quietly.

Lee had tears streaming down his face. "That was so beautiful, Gai-sensei!"

Gaara looked away. "Somebody! Hurry!"

"HONK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Again!" Kakashi yelled.

"HONK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Again!"

"HONK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

funny huh

Nice fanfic you found wiz.

How many multi-posts was that? Can someone put the posts together like what happened to my first fanfic? And I'll edit this post after I finish reading.